Remember how poor Bridget Jones, already fighting with her weight, humiliated, cheated on and trampled on by her beloved, was mopping up her betrayed woman’s pain with a box of tissues, hoping to numb her broken heart by binging on liquor, cookies and giant tubs of ice cream.
What was she thinking? That a few extra pounds would help her forget the betrayal? That gorging herself in that way would punish her enough and cause enough pain to crush the more acute, cruel and raw current suffering? Or, rather, was she punishing herself for what had just happened to her? After all, by putting on a few more pounds, by stuffing herself with all that is fat and sweet, she could to justify to herself why the man she had loved had looked elsewhere.
She was wrong! I have done several shows on that topic because one of my specialities is the “vendetta diet”. What does that actually stand for? Well, instead of shredding the scoundrel’s shirts with your bare hands or smashing up his vintage record collection with a big hammer, instead of harassing him on social media as he shows off his new girlfriend, instead of letting ourselves being eaten up and held up in our lives by pain and resentment, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down, hold our head high and channel our vengeful energy (and desperation) in a smarter direction: take our focus away from the louse and direct it on ourselves. We don’t want to harm him, we don’t even spare him a thought, after all he didn’t deserve us.
This man was only an insect on the windshield of our life, ‘nough said! (As Garfield the cat said)
No, instead, we concentrate on the person that matters the most in the world: ourselves! We are going to show him what he has lost. We get out of our nest, we leave our dark thoughts behind, we spend time with our friends and we get ourselves a really hot body, get into the best shape ever just like Jennifer did after Brad dumped her or Sandra after the alleged “love of her life” cheated on her. We don’t set fire to his car, if he indeed as one. No! we enrol in an art or language class, we educate ourselves. We go and meet new people. We let our hair down. We get a makeover, refresh our wardrobe, try something new, we explore our new “self”, start a new sport, try short hair. We go for a trip around the world. Whereas he satisfies himself with going back to the same places, the same hotels, the same restaurants, we go and explore new places far away from any image or memory of him.
If you find this route a difficult one to take, do what I recommended on Fox TV last year: take small steps and write down everything you didn’t really like about him but endured in order to keep him, to not be alone. Make a box (the vendetta box) and put all his meaningless gifts in it along with his little notes and submerge this box in water to wipe it all away.
Donate all the other presents to a charity of your choice, create happiness out of your sorrow. Adopt the Feng Shui principle of cleansing your soul as well as your home of the man lost. Discard your photos, all the evidence of your past life together. Delete all his emails, even the sweetest ones. Out of sight, out of mind and therefore out of harms way.
And very soon you will go from this:
And pleaase, rid yourself of the ridiculous nutritional crutches. No, you are not going to forget any quicker by gorging on hobnobs, crisps, donuts or pints of coca cola. The taste of fat, alcohol and sugar in your mouth will not make him come back to you. Drinking glass of wine after glass of wine will not make him materialise in your sitting room. And, eating a slab of chocolate will not make him appear in your bed either. Find the pleasure elsewhere. I know this is easily said than done but… pull yourself together and get moving!
Go and sweat every day. Put him out of your mind on the spinning bike, in a Bowka class, on a run in the woods, by doing a parachute jump, with a surf in the waves, on the back of a horse, by climbing a mountain, swimming in the ocean, or even just simply by going for a walk with your girlfriends. Have a go at finding out how good you can look and work on getting really fit. Get the hot body you might have unconsciously not tried for during your relationship for fear of his jealous remarks. It is what I called the vendetta diet for Jennifer and Demi. It worked for them, it will work for you, you have my coaches word!
To quote one of our star BootCampers (Mariette): “We are going to get ourselves a foxy body to make him regret even more of having dumped us, but by then we will have left him far behind”
so, you see, everything is an opportunity to get on board with a healthy lifestyle, even a painful break up.
Who is the most beautiful? Who is the strongest? who is the smartest? It’s you!
Off we go! lets get back on the saddle! Today you are putting yourself as a #1 priority in your life, and never ever let anyone (not even yourself) make you think even for an instant that you didn’t measure up, because it was the other one who didn’t. QED!
So, are you ready? Yes? Here is your game plan:
- We start out together with a 3 day detox
- Give yourself a 30 day target for a toned body by following my bikini challenges: thin waist, arms-shoulders-back, abs, glutes and legs
- Plan the weeks ahead: get togethers, parties, cinema outings, etc… if you don’t feel up to it, ask you best friend to sort it out for you.
- Proceed with the “spring cleaning” as I mentioned above: mementos, email, pictures, etc…
- Go to bed early and do your best for some replenishing sleep as a lack of it is a big obstacle to getting back on your feet.
- Start practicing yoga 15 minutes morning and/or evening to center yourself.
- Spend as much time as possible with friends and loved ones to be alone as little as possible even if you only wish for one thing, being alone with the sorrow that no one can understand (obviously)
- And, as Scarlett O’Hara said so well, remember that, tomorrow is another day.
And if you need any support, the entire BootCamper community is always there for you!
Tags: bridget jones diet fitness motivation nutrition vendetta weight loss